What ensued in the next four weeks was nothing short of an enthralling whirlwind. Penny broke into my heart like a hot knife through butter. She was drawn to me like a duck to water.

It was want rather than need that drew her to me. I’d never experienced anything like that in my life. I cancelled all the limits I had enforced on my heart and opened myself up to show her my love.

She had never experienced unconditional love. The kind of love that just made her feel so special. The kind of love where I looked at her like she was the only girl in the world. The thoughtful kind of love which looks to envelop, encompass and nurture. The kind that provides safety, warmth and ability to be completely vulnerable. I showered her with the kind of love and care and adoration that she craved all her life but was deprived.

We fit together like two symbiotic pieces of a puzzle. We spent our days lost in each others thoughts stealing every chance be together. One night, we stumbled out of the bar soaked in Long Island Iced Teas. While we were holed up in the room, she broke down uncontrollably for the first time in decades. She told me tableaus of how she was thwarted by those whom she loved. The shadows that lurked in every corner. The demons who walked freely pretending to be angels. She lived in a world where even the truth walked around masked as a lie.

I wrapped my arms around her as she sobbed into my chest like the sixteen year old she was inside. The girl who was frozen in time never being able to see the daylight. In that moment, I knew I wanted nothing but to spend the rest of my life with her. To protect her the way she needed to be. To love her the way she wanted. To care for her the way no one else had. I saw her completely naked. I saw the beauty in her soul. I saw her for her.

I got down on one knee and I said – “Penny, every day that I spend with you is like it’s Day 1. I feel like a new man everyday. You shone light onto the darkest recesses of my heart illuminating things that I didn’t even know were present. You showed me how to be free. You let me feel desire again. You are the best thing that happened to me. I don’t have a ring with me this time, but I promise my heart will always be as full of love for you as it is right now. I promise I will always be there for you to take care of you, to protect you, to guard you against all your demons. Will you promise to marry me one day?”

The tears streamed down her face releasing emotions pent up for decades. She’d finally found her prince. The one who put her above all else. The lion to her lioness. Her knight in shining armour. She stuttered “Yes” in between sobs. She slept that night on my chest holding me like a child holding onto a security blanket. She felt safe for the first time.

Two weeks later we hit the tipping point.

Part 5 – Burning Desires