12/8/2025

T, Mi Amor,

I want to start today’s letter by saying first – I love you. More than you can ever fathom. You are the purest thing that is in my life. And I am grateful for you in every possible way.

And now I get down to what made me realise and what I want to tell you. When I sat down for lunch today, they had cordoned off this section in the cafeteria for just us because they had organised lunch. I took a box and sat down in the corner. I didn’t really have any meaningful company with me. So for me it was more about – eat food and get the fuck out of there kinda deal. So I just made small talk there with a few folks who were seated beside me.

I saw hundreds of people to my left sitting, eating, chatting. And I thought about you. Without being too hyperbolic I want to say that none of these people even hold a candle to the kind of person you are.

And then i realised how rare you actually are.

Your quiet strength, you’re like a banyan tree. You have provided shelter when it was too sunny or when the clouds burst. You’ve allowed people to flock to you as long as they needed. And when they were done, they left. But you still stood there. Storms raged and beat down on you relentlessly. But you stood there. Tall. Strong. I love and admire how strong you are.

Your awareness, is a gift for all those whom you love. You listen in a way that makes me feel loved and understood. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I’ve felt judged when I am with you. I mean, I’m not an easy choice. Far from it. But the way you held me without judgement. I felt like I gestated in your palms. And I will give you the world for it. Everything that you dreamed of, will be yours one day. I promise.

Your thoughtfulness, oh baby, it takes something of a very genuine sort of love to be as thoughtful as you. One day you said to me – you have no idea how hard i love. And i see that now. The way you move through your world and through mine, its with such subtle intention. Most would miss that, but I don’t. I look at it and I think – aaaah I see what you did there.

Your integrity. I know how you try to be fair. To all the parts and people whom you love. You make the tough choices. You don’t take the easy exits. You stay honest even when it opens you up to hurt. Your moral clarity is just astounding.

The way you love me babe, it’s like an unpolished unconscious expression that just emanates from you so naturally. You loosen my chest just by existing. In your presence the noise from across the world just dissipates. You gave me safety without even trying to. Your love felt like home even when you weren’t trying to give it.

You never told me this. But as I was sitting and writing this. I saw it.

You sat there. It was in the dead of the night. The whole world slept. But you stayed awake. And without warning, it just broke open. The entire dam. It felt like nothing could contain it. And you cried and cried and cried. You wept like when you were a child. You felt the pain course through your heart. You almost wished it would just stop. The pit of your stomach cramped. You fought for breath as you continued to break. The question that just seared on the inside of your room glowed blood red and it asked – What was my fault that I wasn’t good enough to be chosen? Was I just not worth it? Why wasn’t there even a little bit of a fight?

As I saw that tableau unfold, and I turned and saw the other side of the world. A little boy picked himself up. Dusted himself off. Wiped the snot off his nose. Haphazardly brushed the last tear he had shed and he started to walk. And he kept walking. Alone. But determined. He had to keep walking. Until he came to the little clearing where he looked up and he saw your window. It glowed brighter than any light he had ever seen. And he saw your shadow. He couldn’t see your face, but he knew what he’d discovered. He smiled. Because he knew he found home.

Take this for a vision of something that is to come… sooner than you think.

The walls are white. There are black and white photos in chestnut frames peppered all across the room. I sit there on the sofa. I’ve got my grey shorts on, the one that has that little bleach stain. I’m wearing that blue shirt that you got me. I’m seated there and I have the book in my hand and I am reading. I see a shadow get cast on my book and I look up and it’s you. You’re in your sweats and the white and blue striped shirt.

I look at you quizzically and ask – What’s up babe?

You put your legs around me and sit down on me. You wrap your arms around my neck and you hug me. The hug just gets a little too tight. I hug you back just as intensely.

You say – thank you for seeing me.

Love You Forever And Always,

XOXO,

A