12/7/2025

T, Mi Amor,

Something just so wonderful happened yesterday. The past few days have been one of those that felt we are going against the grain, swimming upstream if you will. The distance just kills me. I hate those moments when I know all I want to do is look into your eyes and into your soul and just let you know – it’s all going to be ok. So that I can see the same thought reflected back to me.

Not going to lie, there were times when I thought I was losing you. It felt like i was trying to hold sand that was just slipping away through the cracks in between my fingers. And tighter I tried to hold it, the faster it felt like it was disappearing. We sorta had this push-pull thing going on and I just wanted us to get back to the middle. ‘

Call intuition or connection or whatever but there was a very primal pull that I felt towards you yesterday. I think both our nervous systems were firing on all cylinders. When that first hug came, oh babe, it felt like taking the foot of the pedal and shifting to neutral. Everything just got calmer in that one instant.

You sat there next to me, I drank you in. You in your scrubs looking like the prettiest little snowflake ever. That’s when i saw it in your eyes. You wanted to cry. But not in a – I’m so much in pain kind of cry, not in a im hurt kind of pain, not even in an its all so messy kind of cry. It was just – i don’t know how to get used to this sense of peace kind of cry. How could we? When neither of us have ever experienced it.

I know that we didn’t get enough time. I mean what even is enough? I don’t think all of this life that’s left is enough time with you. But we made do with what we are given until we get to that time when we go to sleep in OUR bed and wake up in each other’s arms. But I was so happy that we did get to do that, it just brought us back the center. And whenever i left you home before, it used to feel a little sad. Like i was leaving you behind. But when I saw you disappear behind the gates and out of view, it didn’t feel sad this time. Up until yesterday, it felt like we were two little specs of light travelling in parallel. Two paths running next to each other. But yesterday it felt like we had started to move helically in a spiral around the same center. Like we keep moving in space and time together. Our paths had converged and we revolved around it as we grew forward.

Yesterday wasn’t magic because everything was perfect. It was magic because we found our way back to each other while being imperfect.

This morning, when I went for a run, I had Alex Warner singing Ordinary on repeat the entire time. And I swear to you, I don’t know what it was, the entire sea of people disappeared. I swear I can’t remember seeing a single person on the road. It’s like everyone else on this planet had disappeared. All I could see was you. Far away, yes. Doing your own thing, yes. But it was just two of us…

The angels up in the clouds…

Are jealous knowing we found….

Something so out…

Of the ORDINARY….

Love You Forever & Always,

XOXO,

A