12/27/2025

T, Mi Amor,

Right now where I am at, all these thoughts are brimming in my head. Cause there are like these huge swells of emotions rising and falling. And I am trying to make sense of it all and organise them into a flow. So bear with me if I stray a little bit here and there.

Before I get into talking about us, I want to take a minute to tell you a story. It was in PU that I met Ferdinand. He was the only person whom I knew where we shared our roots. We both speak the same language but the weirdest thing is we always communicate in English whenever we talk. Maybe it was the setting in where we met and where we interacted the most, somehow we always have been communicating in English. Ferdinand is hard as nails. He left home when he was 17. He joined a call center where he worked and earned money to take care of himself. He then joined the army and rose up the ranks. I’ve spoken to him when he was in the sweltering sun and when you couldn’t get water in the tap because it had frozen in the pipes. Somewhere along the way he met Cathy. She was in the cabin crew for sometime. I had the pleasure of meeting her about 5 years ago I guess. And today, She’s Ferdinand’s wife and the mother to their sweet little daughter. And even today, he is sleeping on a cold steel bed in the barracks, while we sit here warm in our beds. He gets a day or two in a few months to hold his daughter. I can’t even imagine what he must be going through.

Ferdinand is the second longest lasting relationship that exists in my life right now. I have massive respect for him because of how he made himself up from nothing. He is the truest embodiment of a self made man. But today I respected him more because the advice he gave me showed me how hard he is on the outside, is how fiercely and how loyally he loves.

My conversation today was hinged on one question – how do the two of you make it work?

The first thing he told me was – be honest. Be honest with yourself on what it is. Is it infatuation or is it love? Really sit down and think what it is that happens to you and your body when you think of her. Is it a sense of peace and safety that comes? Because if that is the case then it’s love. So be clear on it that it is love that you have, because that’s the only thing that can save you on the bad days.

The second thing he told me was – acceptance. What both people need to realise is that you need to accept that it is not going to be easy. We are entering this at a point where both of us are in different phases in our lives and at this point we are not the ONLY priority for each other. The operative word being “only” in that last sentence. You are starting out to build your career. I am balancing out against Nemo’s needs. So if we have other priorities that are going on which are currently taking precedence, then we need to know and accept that we become a smaller part of those and we need to grow around those priorities without growing apart. It is tough right now. It is going to get harder. Before it gets better. We HAVE to accept this reality.

The third and last thing he told me was – communication. And this wasn’t just about effectively communicating. But it was about communicating exactly how difficult things will be. And how we build muscle for long term adaptability till the time comes that we go home together. So I think it’s not got to do so much with always articulating what we feel but also in conjunction with knowing exactly how difficult it is and bringing forward the maturity to realise that it’s us against the problems and not us against each other.

It was when he told me all these things that I realised the depth of the love he carries for Cathy. And I asked a question that I was too scared to ask – Did you guys ever break? He said without batting an eyelid – no. I asked – What do you think is the one thing that prevented that from happening? He said – man I love her and she loves me and neither of us wants to lose the other at any cost. At the end of the day it’s all worth it man, cause it’s her.

So there you go. I think it just boils down very fundamentally to that one aspect – is this all worth it? That’s the only thing we need to be sure of going in. I think the next three years are going to be like swimming up against the tide for us. And we need to know going in that it’s going to be exhausting, it’s going to be painful, it’s going to really really difficult. But it will pass eventually until the time comes that we just hold each other’s hands and float together and let the tide carry us naturally where it may to our final destination.

The only thing we need to know is – it’s worth it.

Watching how you show up for the things that matter to you, tells me everything about the kind of partner you are. And I needed you to know that I am choosing with open eyes.

Love Forever And Always,

XOXO,

A