1/26/2026

T, Mi Amor,

Ughhhhhhhh. I have to say, I hate this feeling that I have right now. I think I wrote about this to you at one point in time, but it’s basically the heaviness in my chest coupled with clouds in my mind and tears lurking right at the back of my eyes waiting to come out. I cannot stay away from you. I am so deeply pair bonded that when I get separated from you, I just start to wilt a little bit slowly but surely.

But, in these moments I have trained / am training my mind just one thing – this too shall pass. I haven’t consciously thought about the “passing” of the good times, because it seems like I just blink and it’s gone. But when I think about the time immediately after, my heart sinks like a block of lead in a cold ocean. And to deal with that precisely is why I say to myself – this too shall pass. We shall be together again, and again, and again, until the day comes that I can go home… with you… to our home. The home we built.

I think that mellifluously opens into what I wanted to say today. I already dropped a hint with the image that I attached to this letter, so I think that you know. Last night, I had the best date I ever had in my life. And it was purely due to one reason – we built that together. We were equally committed to creating an experience that we will cherish. And that’s what made it the best ever. Because we partnered up to put together an experience so surreal when we had such little ingredients to begin with.

You asked me yesterday – have you ever done this with anyone else? And I said – nah not really. And you said – how come? Why didn’t you ever put this kind of effort? I was taken aback by that question. Because no one in the world has ever asked me why I haven’t put in effort. Because that is the only thing that I have ever done. Bled freely to nourish those around me. With everyone in my life, I gave. I opened my heart and gave without a thought. And I did it with an ulterior motive – to say, please see the kind of love i will give you, and for that please STAY.

No one did.

I think the worst part about loving like that is seeing how it becomes so easy for people to take and ever return it in kind. Because you see a relationship go from one which you thought was loving to where you are reduced to a provider. Utilitarian love. That’s all I ever was.

But when I am with you. You don’t say – hey make me feel special. You don’t say – hey love me and heal my wounds. You don’t say – hey put me up on a pedestal. You say – baby thank you for making me feel so loved. You say – baby thank you for holding me when I am scared. You say – baby thank you for valuing me the way that you do. And you also say – I want to make you feel loved like no one ever has. You also say – I want to love you and protect you from any harm ever. You also say – You are the best in the way that you do whatever you do.

And now when we are together, we don’t have a chance to be completely unfiltered lovers. We stay in the shade until the sun grows a little softer. And while we do, you say – hey baby, do you want to make something so awesome while we wait for our day in the sun? And when you do, I jump with joy. Because I finally have someone who wants to build life with me. And not just stand tall on my back and reach for the stars.

We are building something unshakeable and formidable here. And I love that this is all with you.

Love Forever And Always,

XOXO,

A