1/23/2026

T, Mi Amor,

It’s been a few days since I wrote to you. When I think about it, I think that this week has just gone by in a blink, yet it seems so much has happened in such a little time, and honestly, I feel like I’ve been running so much that it was time for me to slow down and touch the grass. So I take a breath today, to write to you about the sweetest thing you have done for me, I have to add the “so far” because you always seem to top what you did before.

Yesterday was such an overloaded day. Sleep deprived, stressed out, anxiety, fear of the unknown, fear of abandonment, old triggers, all of it just action packed into one day. It’s like my mind and the universe just decided to dial up the heat to extreme… like they were like – just for fuuuuuuun let’s see what happens when we do this. And of course I was like a cat on a hot tin roof. I think I’m great in crisis you know, level headed and cool as a cucumber. But if there are people who i love involved, then yea… meow.

You know all this while I think that the scariest thing for me to do would be to open up about the mistakes I made historically. But I realise now that, that was the easy part. Because that has come and gone. It was in the past and you can’t be mad about the past right? Like is anyone mad about the Louisiana Purchase? No… because it was in the past. 😂

But yesterday I realised what is the actually scary part. It’s not about past mistakes, it’s about how the repercussions of those mistakes spill into my present, and potentially into my future too. You asked me what I was afraid of yesterday, it is this. There’s that blend of the abandonment fear too, but I learn to consciously name it and park it to the side, so it knows that I am the one in control. But I think that the part that scares me most is how some of the weight of history can spill onto our shared future. That is what I am worried about. About whether it will be something that we make peace with. Whether the juice is worth the squeeze.

That being said, it wasn’t me I wanted to write to you about. It was you, and something you did. You know I’m not used to being held. The way that you almost always have. Like since day 1 you have just held me and listened. And the craziest thing was, when i fully unravelled yesterday, you did something so unique. You held me even more preciously. What I was in awe of was when you said – hey so you get to drive today right? So thats something exciting. I didn’t really connect the dots. I was wondering what? What’s she talking about. And then you sent me a selfie. Looking so pristine. Your eyes shining like opalescent lily’s in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens. And that’s when it clicked. And I had that aha moment. You were trying to cheer me up? See? Do you see how stupid I am? 😂

That is the sweetest thing that you have done for me. That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. To totally put me first. To just think about what it is that can make me happy. And just try from their very soul to make me smile.

And that, my little snowflake, is why I love you so.

Love Forever And Always,

XOXO,

A