In the days that followed, we seemingly went back to normal. Isn’t it remarkable, the diversity and the relativity in the definition of normal. The true meaning only seen in the eyes of the beholder.

My only motive and my very being driven by one objective – remind Penny of why she loves me. I spent every available minute pouring every ounce of love that I had into her. Like a degenerate gambler who squandered every available penny into the slot with the quixotic believe that it would ring a jackpot, I kept pouring out of my cup and into hers with eudaemonic abandonment. To make her feel cherished. To make her feel loved. To make her feel special. To make her feel valued. I looked at her like there was none other, for in my illusion there really wasn’t. I had dropped everything to just invest in us. In the vast emptiness of my existence, she was my everything.

But as David Kushner said two sinners can’t atone from a lone prayer. Like the tide that recedes imperceptibly right in front of your eyes, I saw her slowly start to pull away. In a trice, everything that came naturally was now Sisyphean. The good morning message was no longer the first act of the day. The calls that got missed and never returned. The lunchtime snaps of the now tasteless morsels stopped. The pressing priorities at work that started to take precedence. The messages that used to go from delivered to read to respond in the blink of an eye now swiped out from the notification bar, to prevent it from casting its conscience-stricken presence onto her eyes. Every night that we were together, I sent her the same message. Reminding her that she was the best thing that happened to me. One day, she stopped reciprocating.

I had exhausted everything I had. Like a battle worn soldier now devoid of a even a single bullet in the chamber, I fell to my knees and surrendered myself to her and asked her what she wanted. She said she didn’t know. The clouds were too thick. She couldn’t see the path. I picked myself up and dusted myself off as I stifled the tears in my eyes. I looked into her eyes and said – Maybe some perspective without the constant intrusion of my presence and my persuasion might help. 36 days. Let’s meet where it all began at 6 PM. We see where we go from there. I turned around to leave. She grabbed my hand panic stricken. Not wanting to let go. A virgin experience for her to see someone else attempt to walk away, however falteringly. I repressed every single fibre in my body to merge into her and walked away. Maybe this was the only thing that could save us. To experience life without each other. Maybe absence would make the heart grow fonder. Believing that the red string that bound us would reunite us at the end of this trial.

For 36 days, I wrote to her. For 36 days, I begged the gods to find a path for us. For 36 days, I had nothing but our reunion on my mind. Envisioning and basking in the anticipated apricity of our reunited love. I sought advice from commoners, scholars, fools and gods alike on how I can conjure the outcome I wanted. I believed in my bones that she would find her way back. Everything I did was a reflection of that belief. I was chastised by Walter as I walked into that palace of precious stones and picked the perfect ring. The solitaire, no more alone, supported by two smaller gems each blessed with a child’s grace. Me, the ring encompassing them. The glue that held us all together. When Walter asked why, I said – I trust her to not destroy me, the only arrow in my quiver since Day 1.

When the day finally arrived, I woke fresh and ready. The first day of the rest of our lives. The day we recommenced. I arrived early at the bar. I saw the sun’s rays obliquely lighting up our table. I sat there and waited. I waited and watched as the sun disappeared. I died at the end of every second and was reborn at the beginning of the next. My heart skipped a beat every time anyone turned the corner, in anticipation of the only one I wanted to see. I lived and died twenty two thousand times. Until finally the reality hit. I looked down and didn’t see the ground beneath me any more. I was in a free fall as I drove back. The hazy blur of rain, tears, traffic lights. I curled into a ball. A little boy. Drenched. Shattered. Shivering. Cold. Alone.

A muted beep on my phone. I opened the notification to see her. Two glasses clinking in synchrony. A machiavellian display of betrayal. I closed my eyes as she came walking to me. She gently curled her cold fingers around my neck. She looked directly into my eyes and without breaking contact pushed my head under the water. She saw the fear in my eyes as I started to comprehend what she was doing. She saw me gasp for air sucking in the water. She saw my body writhing in despair as I body burned every last resource fighting to live. She saw the attempts attenuate as I succumbed to her grasp. Until finally there was stillness. My lifeless eyes staring into the abyss. She stood up wiping her hands on her dress. The blood disappearing onto her crimson dress. She turned and walked away without looking back. The cold unrelenting sound of her heels echoing in the empty hallways.

~ Fin ~